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My last entry was a little incoherent, to say the least. Very… - Veritas et Aequitas [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Veritas et Aequitas

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[Mar. 21st, 2011|11:53 am]
Veritas et Aequitas
My last entry was a little incoherent, to say the least. Very sporadic...very unorganized...all over the board so to speak. I guess I have a lot on my mind. Some things never change. Life has evened out a bit. I have come to realize...through no influence of anyone else, that I am pretty much incorrigible. I want everything my way...no room for error. While I do think Petrina could make a better effort to take care of things she KNOWS irk me, I do think I need to relax. I keep it up, I'll end up dead of an aneurysm before my baby is even born. I found out on December 30th that we're having a boy. I'm very excited about this information. I just want my child to be happy and healthy, but I'm glad it's a boy because I guess on some level I think it might be a little easier than having a girl...but who knows. At the very least, I have some valuable knowledge to pass on to my son.

The finances are slowly being caught up on. It's helping the stress a lot. I've also been working out a lot harder, so by the time I get to the office in the morning, I'm calmer than usual. We have also found out we don't have to be out of the house until NEXT Spring, which takes A LOT of stress off of me. I have also come to realize that I can only do what I can do. I can make 100 phone calls, and if only one piece of business sells, then only one piece sells. I can try until I'm blue in the face to make someone stay here but if they are convinced they're getting a better deal somewhere else, which DOES happen, than I have done all I can do. I'm just a little tired of beating myself up over things I cannot change, you know? It's the age old serenity prayer right? Accepting the things I cannot change and having the strength to change the things I can. I can't change that I have a son coming and wouldn't want to...I can't change where I live just yet, and as far as my wife and I are concerned, we can both change for the better, but it will take time and work.

Work is tolerable...but I'm still working toward a career doing something else. What? I have NO IDEA. Perhaps I'll just get as many letters and numbers after my title as I can while I'm here, soak up as much experience here as i can, become as marketable as I can, and then just find a BETTER job in insurance. Who knows.

My parents divorce is FINALLY final, and my mom didn't get screwed...this is also helping my stress level. I worry about y mom...she's a pain in the ass, but I love her, and she has been through a lot over the years. I'm glad that time of her life is all sewn up and she can begin new without all of the uncertainty. Wish I had the same luxury...but alas, such is life.