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I think...I've got...the fear. - Veritas et Aequitas [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Veritas et Aequitas

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I think...I've got...the fear. [May. 21st, 2012|05:35 pm]
Veritas et Aequitas
Well, not that kind of fear. Not the drug induced fear, not the Hunter S. Thompson fear...but a very real fear none the less. Sometimes at work I get sick of quoting people's insurance, sick of talking to people, sick of work really. So, I zone out and look usless crap up on the internet. Since I don't take a lunch really ever, just ten minutes to grab food and eat at my desk...I'd don't consider it dicking off really...but that's beside the point. So today, I start looking up people I used to know on the NJDOC Offender Search. That's the Department of Corrections, FYI. It dawns on me, maybe now at this late hour because I'm a new parent, that these are all someone's kids. I looked through a lot of people my age...male and female. Mostly drug offenses, but a lot of "Endangering the Welfare of a Child" too. It just made me so sad. These people obviously had crap childhoods and are now continuing the cycle. It makes me worry so much about Jax. I pray everyday my wife and I can do the best for him and that he grows up right. Please God give me the strength and wisdom to raise my kid to NOT be a fucking drug addled statistic. PLEASE.

[User Picture]From: raychel024
2012-05-23 01:22 pm (UTC)
Nadiya is 17, and although weve had a few ups & downs, shes leaving for college in August on a full 4 yr scholarship @ 48k a year. She got rid of the douchebag boyfriend awhile ago, and is really focused on graduating & moving away from what she calls her loser knucklehead friends. She actually thanked me for being so hard on her, and keeping her focused. Youll do fine, and before you know it he'll be 17 & ready to leave for college.. You will be a positive consistant parent who will kicj your kids ass when he needs it. Dont try to pussify him ( which I cant even imagine you doing) but dont iron fist him either so that he fears you to the extreme of being unable to talk to you. A good relationship where you are ALWAYS his parent, not his friend, is what he will need. Relax, you got this!!! :) miss you
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